Outlander is taking us home sweet home!
Episode 308, “First Wife,” brings us back to Lallybroch, which means familiar faces, sibling squabbles, a few more scars for JAMMF, a wee bit of dung, oh, and that whole bombshell about Jamie being married to Laoghaire.
On the plus side, it also means that JAMMF’s hair has that amazing Tulach Ard Tousle, which you know I have a soft spot for.
Let’s not muck about any further. It’s time for Outlander Superlatives, y’all!
Episode MVP: Ned Gowan
Ned Gowan is still alive! And still practicing law! And probably thanking his lucky stars that his cases now involve marital disputes and not witchcraft!
Without a doubt, Ned is our MVP this week because he gets Jamie out of that pickle of a marriage to Laoghaire. And is it me or does Ned kind of seem to LOVE the idea of sending the second Mrs. Fraser to the colonies for some hard labor? Let’s not forget he almost got torn limb from limb at that witch trial too.
Laoghaire, man. I cannae say I blame her for jumping at the chance to marry JAMMF, but she has a way of rubbing people the wrong way.
The Real Star of the Show: Frasertude
Frasertude is back in full effect, and no one is throwing more shade than Jenny Fraser Murray.
Jenny is full of sass this week, and you do NOT want to be on her bad side. She is full of sick burns about Claire being gone for twenty years, and she’s also not super happy about Jamie teaching her son the art of smuggling. JAMMF is no stranger to Frasertude, though, and all he has to do is call his sister by her given name to show that he is not going down without a fight.
Poor Ian Sr. It can’t be easy living in a house full of Frasers. No wonder why he’s aged so much. He must never hear the end of it if he asks for one more potato with his dinner or puts the whisky away in the wrong cabinet.
Best Special Guest Star: Wee Ian’s Whiskers
Look how proud he is of those whiskers. Almost as proud as he is about Fergus complimenting his brandy-selling skills. Do you think Fergus is the one who encouraged him to grow facial hair? Do you think Fergus sends notes to Lallybroch that say things like, “Dear bestie, How are the whiskers? Have you seen any new growth? Don’t let the haters get you down. You look tres, tres beau. MISS YOUUUUUUUUUUU. Xoxo, Fergie Ferg”?
Side note: Wee Ian is taking this season by storm. He’s a regular Bob Hope! Is he this season’s Murtaugh?
Hottest JAMMF: Feverish JAMMF
Have you ever wondered what angels look like when they sleep? WELL, WONDER NO MORE.
Look. I don’t want to be that girl who swoons over the guy in a fever sweat, but it makes his skin so dewy!
Seriously, though, there’s something about when an injured JAMMF opens up to Claire that gives me the warm and fuzzies. And this time he’s not talking about how he got the two hundred scars on his back or any other stories of torture. This time he’s talking about dancing at a party! I love Dancing JAMMF!
Claire seems less impressed. Unless she’s just sad that she missed all the fun? Because we all know there ain’t no party like a Hogmanay party ’cause a Hogmanay party don’t stop.
Runner-up Hottest JAMMF: “What’s a few more scars?” JAMMF
You know why they call Jamie Fraser the King of Men? Because of things like this, when he gets shot by his crazy pants “wife” and all he has to say for himself is, “What’s a few more scars?”
Best Brazen Claire Moment: Hip Checking Laoghaire Claire
We all wanted to do it, Claire. Thanks for taking one for the team.
If I were Claire, I’d probably tackle Laoghaire to the ground and at the very least pull her hair and scratch her eyes out, but I get it. JAMMF needed medical attention. JAMMF comes first.
Saddest JAMMF: No Raisin’ Bairns JAMMF
Okay, people need to stop telling Jamie that he doesn’t know anything about raising bairns! You people are hitting him where it hurts the most! And this week, I’m looking at you, Janet. So you don’t know about Brianna. You don’t know about Willie. But you do know about Faith, and what, are you just going to pretend that this handsome fellow raised himself?
Besides, does THIS look like a man who doesn’t know how to raise children? Does it, Janet???
World’s Worst Babysitters: Jamie and Claire
These two. They’re super responsible and never get into any trouble. Why shouldn’t Ian and Jenny entrust them with their youngest son?
What’s the worst that could happen? What, is Ian going to get caught by some pirates while trying to get the hidden treasure to safety and end up swept away on a scary-looking ship?
I don’t know about you guys, but all the turmoil in this episode is leaving me a little stressed. I need something to make me feel better.
Ah. That’s better.
So, what say you, Fraser fanatics? Did you love Jamie channeling his inner Swayze? Do you miss Fergus? Do you think the Frasers will ever be allowed to babysit again? Will you be huddled on the edge of your seat until the next episode??
Let’s discuss! And don’t forget to come back next week when we break down the best of the best from “The Doldrums.”