Outlander Superlatives: Episode 309 – The Doldrums

Acupuncture and typhoid and seasickness—oh, my!

Outlander has finally arrived at the voyage portion of Voyager, and Episode 309, “The Doldrums,” is setting a course for adventure!

I can’t be the only one who has been singing the theme to The Love Boat all week now, can I?

Let’s climb aboard and discuss all of the seafaring shenanigans in this week’s Outlander Superlatives!

Episode MVP: Mr. Willoughby

Is Mr. Willoughby the 18th century’s Lin-Manuel Miranda? Not only is he a wordsmith, he knows how to capture an audience!

Mr. Willoughby—or Yi Tien Cho—is the ultimate hero of this episode. He prevents an outright mutiny by performing his one-man show and then he scatters his life story to the newly found wind like he’s dropping a mic.

Aside from that, let’s not forget that he’s the one who helps Jamie with his seasickness, preventing some pretty—er—damaging health issues and giving us an adorable porcupine to look at to boot.

The Real Star of the Show: Superstition

These peeps and their superstition. It’s one thing if you, like, don’t want to change your kilt before the big shinty game, but it’s quite another when you think women and gingers on board a ship are bad luck! I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be on any boat that doesn’t welcome this guy.

Oh, and I also don’t want to be on any boat that’s willing to throw someone overboard for not touching a horseshoe. That and the ginger/women thing.

Best Special Guest Star: Jamie’s Seasickness

Oh, James. You’re really not invincible, are you? You can be beaten, flogged, imprisoned, tortured, shot, and sliced through with a bayonet and you’re like, “Eh, #MondayProblems.” But when you set foot on a ship, we realize that, hey, the King of Men is actually human!

Never change, JAMMF. That vulnerability only makes you more lovable.

Most Awww-Inducing: Fergus and Marsali

Step aside, Romeo and Juliet. Hold on, Tony and Maria. There’s a new pair of star-crossed lovers in town!

Say what you will about Marsali’s stank eye (and I actually have something to say about that in a minute), but look at these two. They’re in love! Fergus has put his wild, oat-sewing days behind him! Marsali has escaped Laoghaire’s crazy pants roof! And besides, this marriage is probably the only thing keeping Fergus’s mind off of the fact that his bromancier-in-crime, Wee Ian, has been kidnapped. SO JUST GIVE THEM YOUR BLESSING ALREADY, JAMMF. No more of this, “You hardly know each other” and “You shouldn’t keep secrets” baloney. People in glass houses…

Best Stank Face: Marsali

Marsali has attitude by the bundle and I kind of love it. Our beloved Sassenach is always giving so much sass to everyone, it’s kind of fun to see her get a taste of her own medicine.

Ah, teenagers. Am I right, JAMMF?

Most Versatile Outfit: Claire’s Batsuit

Claire must have read one of those Glamour articles about wearing one outfit five ways, because she is really making the most of her homemade batsuit!

You’ve got your classic, fully put together ensemble with the coat, perfect for setting sail on a voyage:

Then you’ve got your “I’m loosening up and ready for this cruise but I still want to make a good impression” look, perfect for stalking your new favorite beat poet, Mr. Willoughby:

And you can’t forget about the “OMG there’s singing below deck? I didn’t see this on the activity sheet!” look:

And, my personal favorite, the “Let me add a hat” look, because this hat is A STATEMENT PIECE:

And finally, the “Dr. Claire Medicine Woman” look, which is basically just adding a crossbody medical bag, which I’m in favor of because I love a good crossbody:

Hottest JAMMF: JAMMF to the Rescue

If there’s one thing hotter than JAMMF in the middle of a rescue mission, it’s JAMMF in the middle of a rescue mission dressed as a cast member of Pirates of Penzance.

Does this look like a man who was barfing his guts out on the high seas only weeks earlier? Now he’s scaling ropes and teetering on whosey-whats-its (I’m very up on my nautical terms) to talk his mate down off of the ledge. Because that’s what Mac Dubh does.

Also, anything that reminds me of Johnny Castle on the log is a-okay in my book.

Best Brazen Claire Moment: Wading Through Typhoid Claire

We get it, Claire. You took an oath. But at what point does the Hippocratic Oath become void? Because for me, I’d be like, “Well, since I don’t technically become a doctor for another 200 years, have I even taken the oath yet?” I’d consider it a free pass to, you know, not climb aboard a ship crawling with typhoid fever. IT’S NOT 1968 anymore, Claire. It’s eat or be eaten here. But I get it. You wouldn’t be our Claire if you didn’t try to save the world. Only now you’ve gotten yourself kidnapped and Jamie’s going to have to try and save you. AGAIN. I wonder if he ever stops and thinks, “Life was so much easier when I lived in a cave.”

And the worst part about this brazen move, Claire? Your versatile skirt totally contaminated now with all of the human waste you had to sludge through!


So what say you, my fellow Outlandish passengers? Would you buy a ticket to Mr. Willoughby’s show? Are you ready to keep rocking the boat in “Heaven and Earth”? CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE ARE ONLY FOUR EPISODES LEFT? Let me know in the comments! And I hope you’ll follow me on Facebook and Twitter so you don’t miss any of the JAMMF-infused, Book Perfumey fun.

One thought on “Outlander Superlatives: Episode 309 – The Doldrums

  1. Would I buy a ticket to Mr. Willoughby’s show? No, because while commenters on multiple sites were sighing in PC relief about how what they called a racist caricature in the book of a drunken hothead was altered into a wise and healing Yoda, they didn’t seem to notice or react to HIS racist remarks about white women in the middle of his life story on board ship:

    “I left my house and came to a place where the golden words of my poems are taken as the clucking of hens and my brushstrokes as their scratchings. For the love of woman, I am come to a place where no woman is worthy of love. To a place where woman are coarse and rank as bears. Creatures of no grace, and these women disdain me as a yellow worm, so that even the lowest of whores will not lie with me”.

    Bitter and racist much? And everyone on board the ship was enthralled rather than take umbrage at this foreigner dissing their women? If Jamie had called Chinese women “coarse and rank as bears”, would he have been given the praise by viewers that they gave Yi Tien Cho/Willoughby?


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