Book Perfume

It’s official, clan: Droughtlander is OVER!!!

It seems like an eternity since we last saw the Frasers making out on that deserted beach in Georgia, but they’re finally back! And they’ve made their way to North Carolina! And Jamie is wearing a tricorn like it’s nobody’s business!

As happy as I am that Outlander is back, I’m just as happy to reignite a new season of Outlander Superlatives, where I break down the best of the best and the JAMMFiest of the JAMMF from each episode. Does this mean I had to watch the premiere several times in order to compose my thoughts? Of course it does, but a sassenach’s got to do what a sassenach’s got to do.

With pirates and redcoats abound, there’s no time to delay. Let’s embark on the new world that is Episode 401, “America the Beautiful.”

Episode MVP: Rollo
ROLLO MURRAY IS IN THE HOUSE!!!I said it about Bouton. I said it about Ludo. If there is a dog on the scene, he’s going to be the MVP, and if JAMMF is the King of Men, Rollo is without a doubt the King of Dogs.

First of all, look how happy he makes Wee Ian, who I think we can all agree needs some happiness right now after GEILLIS “THE BAKRA” DUNCAN.

(Side note: This is exactly my face when I think about my dog, too.)

Secondly, he’s THE BEST LUNCH DATE.

So much so that apparently he can go into pubs?!

But honestly, the main reason Rollo gets the golden MVP biscuit is because he is the first line of defense against Steven Bonnet and his gang of bandits.

Rollo, you’re the best. I can’t wait to see more of you.

The Real Star of the Show: Steven Bonnet’s Wickedness
Step aside, Captain Randall. There’s a new baddie in town!

Steven Bonnet is so evil, you guys! Unlike Black Jack, who displays his wickedness like a face tattoo, Stevie B is so cunning about everything. He’s like the Eddie Haskell of murderous pirates, telling everyone exactly what they want to hear.

He even uses Jamie’s signature line against him!

Which is basically all Jamie needs.

Along with everyone else.

But in the Frasers’ world, good people have dates with the hangman’s noose all the time, so why shouldn’t they believe him, right? It’s not like he’s going to show up in his fancy pirate clothes and rob them blind and kill anyone!

Oh. Crap.

Please make yourself scarce, Bonnet. Except please don’t because you’re a villain I love to hate.

Best Special Guest Star: Jamie’s BangsI really have nothing to say about Jamie’s bangs except that they look an awful lot like my bangs in, say, fifth or sixth grade that required a lot of Aussie Sprunch Spray and a curling iron. But you know what? JAMMF can pull it off.

Biggest Bad Penny: Redcoats
Do redcoats know how to sniff Jamie out or what? It’s like he releases some sort of redcoat-attracting pheromones to let them know he is HERE and ready to party.

Side note: Griswold is quite the delicious dish, isn’t he?

Best Brazen Claire Moment: Rings for Dinner
How does Claire think on her toes like this?! I mean, sure, living with Jamie all these years and encountering villainous redcoats, crazy witches, and pompous comtes can give a girl practice, but swallowing your wedding rings when you’ve just seen a guy have his throat slit? That takes guts, Beauchamp.

Too bad Bonnet got away with the priceless one. I mean, technically it was probably worth forty-five cents or something, but who wouldn’t rather have a ring made out of the key to Lallybroch over Frank’s lame gold band? Stevie B knows where it’s at.

Hottest JAMMF: “I Want to Make This a Good Land” JAMMF
THERE ARE SO MANY JAMMFS TO CHOOSE FROM IN THIS EPISODE!  I know the obvious choice would be Deep and Philosophical Shirtless JAMMF:

Or the more subtle but still winning combination of Brave JAMMF and Sad JAMMF at the hanging:

Or the VERY CLOSE runner up of Gift-giving JAMMF, because he knows that every kiss begins with an apothecary chest, and because HOW MUCH THOUGHT WENT INTO THIS AMAZING GIFT?

But my favorite, FAVORITE JAMMF is Making This a Good Land for Brianna JAMMF, because HE LOVES HIS DAUGHTER SO MUCH and he is not afraid to go up against the redcoats again and also because he looks amazing in this ruffled shirt.

Most Awkward: Sing-a-long Time
Don’t you hate it when everyone knows the words to a Gaelic dirge and you’re like, “Uhhhhh….”?

So does  Claire.

Most Excited: Grampa JAMMF
Fergus and Marsali are having a baby! And, of course, they’re delighted.

BUT NOT AS DELIGHTED AS GRAMPA JAMMF.

I mean, he is really, really excited.

Some might say…a little too excited?

Nah, no such thing as too excited. His kids are having a kid!

What do you say, Fraser Fanatics? Can you believe we survived the drought? Can you believe how awesome Rollo is? Can you believe JAMMF styled those bangs with NO HAIRSPRAY?

We’re going to have so much to talk about this season. Bring on episode 402!